OMG

Typically, I'm not really one for all of those abbreviated "in" sayings, but this post?  I couldn't think of another title that would do it justice.  It really is unbelievable....

So, it has become tradition in our house - we pick a night that we are going to decorate the tree, we put Christmas music on, light a fire and cook a nice dinner (typically, prime rib).  It has always been a really nice way to decorate the tree as a family.  So, we decide that we are going to do this last weekend:

1.  Given that I had just had surgery and was hobbling around on crutches, I was not able to do my annual job of putting on the lights.  Not only that, but Josh insisted on using white lights, as he informed me that only certain groups of people ( I won't go into details, but they were not kind descriptions) use colored lights.  Too bad we were that family growing up - what does that say about us?  I am sticking with the theory that it is a location thing because, I swear - every family in the Midwest uses colored lights.  ANYWAY - point being, first of all, I had to just sit back and watch as Josh put the lights on (COMPLETELY differently than I would have) and second of all, because he wanted white - we didn't have enough lights (because I have always insisted on colored in the past and as a result, we have plenty of those!), so we were able to put only two strands on the tree.  Because we had already decided that this would be the weekend to decorate, I went along with it and started to put ornaments on the tree (which is quite difficult on crutches, mind you) and then realized that it was really going to be annoying when we got more lights because most of the ornaments would most likely be in the way and would fall and break, etc.  So, we stopped.  The tree was 1/4 of the way decorated.  Disregard the fact that the kids were clearly not interested in having their picture taken...

2.  We haven't gotten around to getting actual firewood yet, so Josh is using pieces of wood that are left over from building the house, which happen to be rather long and they are really strong, so Josh can't break them and of course, we don't have a saw, so they remain long.  Well, Josh goes to put them in the fire and he puts A TON of them in there and lights it.  So, I comment on how big the fire is and then notice that it is so big that it is actually COMING OUT OF THE FIREPLACE.  Flames are literally shooting straight up to the point where we have to remove the stockings and I'm watching the garland on the top of the mantle certain that it will go up in flames any second.  The house then proceeds to completely fill with smoke, the smoke alarms go off, the kids are freaking, Deacon is freaking, Josh is running around the house opening every door and window in an attempt to air it out and me?  I'm sitting on the couch with both kids on my lap practically crying and not able to do a thing  because of my flippin' foot. So, the fire calms down, the alarms go off and the kids stop freaking - just in time for us to notice that the entire piece of blue stone surrounding the fire is BLACK  - in addition, the bottom of my white mantel? BLACK.  Luckily, it ended up just being soot and Josh was able to scrub it off.  Clearly, watching your house nearly burn down was not a prime opportunity for a picture, so this is the only one that I have, which happens to be one that Avery took, but it is evidence of the wood being used.  Alex is apparently smarter than all of us and was attempting to express his concern over the amount and length of wood being used...

3.  Because we were so focused on our house practically burning down, the meat was overcooked.  Not TOO bad, but definitely more medium. And, I'm a medium rare girl and I REALLY enjoy prime rib, so I was  bit bummed about that.

4.  After dinner, Alex decides that he needs to go to the bathroom on the potty.  So, he does and afterwards, is running around without a diaper on.  Oh - and, somewhere along the lines, he lost a sock too.  So, no diaper, one sock and a shirt.  Well, we're in the family room and I tell him that he needs to remember that he doesn't have a diaper on, so if he needs to go to the bathroom, he needs to to to the potty.  At which point, he looks at me with wide eyes and says, "Me poopin!"  So, of course, I scream, "Run! Run!  Get into the bathroom!!!  Josh!!! Meet him in the bathroom!  He's poopin!"  So, the poor kid starts booking it to the bathroom - I can still picture it perfectly in my mind - this little naked boy with just a shirt and one sock on sprinting down the hallway.....with.....a piece of poop hanging out of his butt.  And, before he makes it to the bathroom?  With a piece of poop FALLING OUT OF HIS BUTT ONTO MY WOOD FLOORS (don't worry - I don't have a picture of this event). Awesome.  So, now I'm sitting on the couch, psyching myself up to hobbling over on crutches and cleaning up the poop.  Oh - but, don't you worry...this wasn't necessary. Why????

5.  Deacon came around the corner and ATE THE POOP!!!!!!!!!!!!!!  MY DOG ATE HUMAN FECES - RIGHT IN FRONT OF ME.  I nearly threw up.  It was the grossest thing I've ever seen.

6. And, if all of this wasn't enough?  I went to get Alex out of his crib the following morning?  The night before (aka, the OMG night)?  I had just completely forgotten to put a diaper on him!  So, needless to say, he and his entire crib were both soaked in the morning.  I mean, what mother just forgets to put a diaper on her kid before bedtime? 

Apparently one whose tree isn't decorated, prime rib is over cooked, whose house nearly burns down and whose dog eats kids' poop. That's who...

What Every Woman Wants to Hear

Scene - Whitney hopping on one foot to get to the bathroom in the morning...

Avery - "Mom, when you hop on one foot like that, your butt jiggles...."

Thanks, Aves - love you too kid...

Lesson Learned

So, in getting back to "Why is Whitney choosing this year to be ahead of the game when it comes to Christmas..."

Last Tuesday, I had surgery on my foot to remove (or, as the doctor says, "correct") a bunion.  As it turns out, while I may have looked all cute and fashionable (yes, people - there is sarcasm there) over the years, it may not have been worth it.  Because, essentially, what I was doing was putting my foot into shoes that happened to come to such a point that it resulted in the shoe being half the width of my foot. And, not only that, but these shoes have heels on them, so not only was I putting my foot into these shoes, but I was actually forcing them down into an area that was half the size of my foot.  When you do this for 8-12 hours a day, every Mon-Friday for years?  You get a bunion.  When I went to the doctor to have it looked at, he explained to me that I had already lost 75% of the mobility in my big toe -not to mention, my big toe was now curving so much to the left that it was actually starting to cover my small toe next to it (which, by the way, was really annoying when getting pedicures because inevitably, I would end up with polish on the side of my big toe), as you can see here on my left foot.  It actually doesn't look too bad in this picture.  But, trust me, by the time I got the surgery, my big toe looked like a boomerang and the lump was pretty large.

 
As a result, I figured it was probably time to get this done.

So, I went in and the surgery lasted for about 40 mins, recovery lasted for about 20 mins and I was on my way home!

 The first day?  Not so bad because it was still numb...until approximately 5 pm when the kids came home.  Then?  Not so numb.

Unfortunately, this surgery also coincided with one of the worst 2 week stints involving our youngest love of our life, which brings me to the "Alex being a disaster" thing.  Wow.  It was pretty crazy here for a while.  I mean, ever since we got back from Texas, Alex was a nightmare - temper tantrums over nothing, talking back (if I hear the word, "no!" one more time, I swear the kid will live in time out) and worst of all?  Bedtime.  We would put him down and unless we would stay in there and sit with him or rub his back?  He would SCREAM.  For literally an hour.  It was out of control. 

So, as you can imagine, I was a bit emotional after the surgery and was in pretty severe pain at this point and not only that, but as a mom, it is really hard to not be able to do things for your kids that you want to do.  So, night one -Alex screams.  I feel bad, so I literally crawl up the stairs, dragging my crutches and I sit in the doorway of his room with my foot propped up on his toy box until he falls asleep.   Then, at 2 am?  He wakes up screaming again.  At this point, I can't deal, so I call Josh (he had his cell with him by the bed, as I was sleeping on the couch downstairs) and ask him to bring Alex down to the couch and just have him sleep with me.  As you can imagine, the first night after having surgery with a foot that was in severe pain and sharing a COUCH (i.e., clearly not meant for two ppl to be sleeping side by side) with a 2 year old who tossed and turned all night was not really ideal.  It was miserable.  From then on, we just had to let him cry it out.  We did this for a good 5 nights straight.  It was so bad that we had to let Avery sleep in our room because she couldn't hear him as well in there.  We figured, it wasn't fair to her to keep her up with a brother who was screaming.  

I will say that things have gotten better.  Alex finally snapped out of this and has been a totally different child this week - thank god.  We still haven't figured out what the problem was.  I would assume it is primarily due to the change in routine, not having me to do the things that I typically do, vacation, etc.  But, whatever it was, I'm glad that he seems to have gotten over it.  My foot feels better.  Still not great and I still get tired if I try to do too much, but at least I can do a few more things around the house. 

I go back to the doctor in a week and at that point, I'm hoping they will say that I can put on a boot.  If they don't?  I may lose it.  As will Josh.  As will Avery and Alex. And, come to think of it, as will my parents considering they will then be left with the majority of Christmas prep when they are here.  It is really unbelievable how little you can do with crutches.  I mean, simple things like making coffee - once it's made, how do you get it to the table or to the couch so that you can drink it?  hmmmm.... 

At this point, even Avery understands the lesson learned - when asked?  Her response is "No more pointy shoes, Mommy!"  She's right.  Now, my only question is who is going to a) pay for all of my new non-pointy shoes and b) hem all of my pants considering they are at the height for heels? This bunion is proving to be rather expensive...

Thanksgiving 2011

Wow - first of all, sorry about the delay in posting.  Things have been pretty hectic around here - work has been busy, I've been running around trying to get ready for Christmas (more on this later, as most of you are probably asking yourself - why in the world has Whitney chosen NOW to finally be ahead of the game?), Alex has been a disaster and in general (more on this later, as some of this behavior is just too hard to believe much less post about), I've just been too exhausted to post at the end of the day.  BUT, I'm back and ready!  However, because it has been so long, I realize that I'm going to be breaking the number one rule of blog posts and will probably write WAY too much, so bear with me. 
Once again, we headed to Texas for Thanksgiving this year.  Except, this time - we stayed in Houston and all stayed with Lexi and Will instead of driving down to Opa and Grandma's house.  In order to save some money, we found tickets that were much cheaper if we left Houston the Friday after Thanksgiving and clearly that isn't possible if we are 3 hours away.  So, Houston it was! 

The trip down was great.  Primarily because this was the first trip that Alex had his own seat!  Wow - what a difference that makes.  And, luckily for us, Alex is VERY into planes, so he was quite entertained when on the ground.  The only issue?  He wasn't tall enough to sit in his seat and to still see out the window.  So, we had a hard time getting him to understand that he had to stay seated with his seat belt on.  BUT, we learned a trick - at one point, I told him that "the guy" would come back and yell at Alex if he took his seat belt on.  I'm still not even sure who I meant for "the guy" to be, but holy crap - Alex was scared to death of him.  All we had to do was mention "the guy" and he would get all wide-eyed and would immediately sit down.  It was great (and slightly comical).

The first leg went great.  Kids were good and things were on time.  Then, came the second leg.  We had to get the kids food, so we took the time to eat lunch, which ultimately made us a bit late in getting on the flight.  And, of course, as we were about to get on the flight, we heard those dreaded words - "Mommy, me poopin'."  Awesome.  I'm not sure if any of you have tried changing a diaper on a plane, but it is nearly impossible for an infant, much less a toddler who barely fits on his own diaper table much less the one on the airplane.  So, I go to change him right then and there and of course, he is having nothing to do with it. So, after a few conversations that went something like, "I'm going to leave you in Atlanta if you don't let me get this poop out of your diaper," we were done and on the jet bridge.  So, as we go to collapse the DOUBLE (i.e., LONG) stroller so that we can check it plane-side?  We realize that Delta busted it on the flight from BOS to ATL and it won't collapse. This?  On top of the poop?  Nearly sent me over the edge.  So, we explained this to the guy loading bags and he just put it under the plane fully set up - no idea how it fit, but it did.  So, then?  We get onto the plane and I ask Josh for Alex's sweatshirt, which was in the blue backpack.  Problem - Josh doesn't have it.  Nor do I. Holy Crap, we left it in the terminal.  This?  On top of the poop?  On top of the stroller?  Sent me over the edge.  So, I bolt out of my seat and beg the flight attendant to let me out to get the stroller.  She does and I went.  It was quite the scene - me running down the jet bridge, being chased by approximately 5 Delta personnel screaming at me - "MA'AM! Where are you going?  You can't get off of the plane!  Get back here!"  And, me screaming, "I need to get my bag!!! I swear, the flight attendant said this was ok!  Go ask her!"  So, I got the bag and everything from that point was fine...until we landed and got the stroller and realized that it wouldn't fit in the car if we couldn't collapse it.  So, what did we do?  WE LEFT IT IN THE PARKING GARAGE!  I mean, we just had to leave our double stroller sitting in the parking garage.  Of course, before I did this, we filed a claim and sure enough, we've already received a check for the total amount - Thank you Delta!  Here is the evidence of the busted button and then our poor stroller and its new home - I'm curious as to how long it took before someone took it...

Anyway - onto the trip. We had a great time. It was a perfect week - filled with plenty of activities, but not so many that it was stressful...

Lexi had the great idea of taking all of the kids to a pottery place to get all of their hand prints on platters.  It was actually a relatively stress-free and successful trip.  I ended up with a platter with all 4 kids' hand prints and then a mug for Josh and I and the grandparents.

The next day, we took all of the kids to the aquarium - it was perfect.  The weather was a bit rainy, but still warm, so there was no one there and it was still nice enough to do all of the outdoor stuff.  They had a really cool train ride that went right through a shark tank - the kids loved it. 

Then, there was the ferris wheel

and the merry go round

and THEN lunch with the fish!   This is the view from our table of the huge fish tank that they had in the middle of the restaurant...

 It was a pretty cool place.  And, then of course, there were the obligatory pictures of all kids in a diving costume...

And, last but not least, the white tiger at the end (still not sure what a white tiger has to do with fish, but whatever)...

The following day, we took everyone to the zoo.  The highlight of the day was getting to feed the giraffe lettuce.  Lettuce that should have been made of gold, mind you, considering it was $5 per THREE pieces (then again, not sure why I'm complaining - thanks for buying the lettuce, Uncle Will!).  Regardless, that is one lucky giraffe. 

The rest of the week was spent playing on the swing set,

visiting with Jessica and her two boys...

giving Grandma pedicures...

coloring with sidewalk chalk...

sitting by Lexi and Will's NEW firepit (which was great!)

using the BIG GREEN EGG. I'm telling you guys - if you have never heard of this, you have to look into it - it is the best thing out there and makes the most delicious steaks I've ever had. Not only does it make delicious steaks, but it also makes delicious grilled pizzas....

and Turkeys! 

yep - Lexi brined a turkey and Will cooked it in the BIG GREEN EGG.  Of course, we still had the standard turkey done in the oven because well, a) we had never done one in the EGG, so we didn't know how it would turn out and b) I love stuffing and we needed a turkey to house the stuffing.  That said, I can attest  - the turkey on the EGG was delicious.  I would highly recommend it.

And, other than that, just hanging out with our cousins and having lots of fun!

 

 

Overall, it was a great week - perfect combination of relaxing and entertaining.  Thank you, Lexi and Will for hosting!

My brown-eyed girl

Although, you would never know it with her sudden inability to keep her eyes open when taking pictures.  It truly is rather unbelievable, actually.  And, just to prove this, I am going to attach every picture attempt just to show you how many pictures in a row I got of her with her eyes closed...

It started at the mummy wrapping station at her school Halloween party...

 

 

 Then, at home trying to get them in their Halloween shirts.  There was only one with her eyes closed in this series. The only reason her eyes were open in the other ones is because she was acting goofy.  Clearly I need to be taking more candids if I want any pictures with her eyes open, but I haven't perfected my skills enough quite yet to do so. 

 and then onto the pictures in the house of her in her costume...

And, finally, at Lindsey's house with Asher....

 

 It was at this point that I was actually starting to find this whole closed eye thing more annoying than funny (clearly, Asher was thinking the same given his "Ok, this is getting kind of annoying, Avery" look on his face, so we found a solution!  Lord help me if every picture of her has to be like this from now on...